Revenge bedtime procrastination, what leaders need to know
In my journey as an executive coach there are several themes that recur in every client’s growth journey, becoming more effective, improving communication, work/life integration and effectively navigating conflict.
The weird title today applies to work/life integration. If you stay up instead of going to bed to sleep long enough to feel legitimately rested before you go through it all again, you are revenge bedtime procrastinating, and you are not alone. This is a major self-inflicted injury that is so easy to do, play on the phone, binge on a mediocre TV show, read, surf the net, putz around the house or engage in something you really enjoy until the early hours of the morning, just to grab a little bit more me-time.
Where the term came from
The concept was first named as a thing in China. Emma Roa worked the notorious 996 schedule in China, 9AM to 9PM, 6 days a week, and felt robbed from her personal life. She had a very small window at the end of the day to eat, shower and get to bed for a good night’s sleep. She started choosing to eke out time at the end of the day to have some personal time, to read, surf the net, watch TV, check the news until well past midnight. She was doing what the Chinese call bàofù xìng áoyè, directly translated as retaliatory staying up late. Today we know it as revenge bedtime procrastination.
Why we give up sleep to feel in control
The question here is, why do so many people have to stay up late to regain some sense of freedom or control? We all realize that the long-term effect of sleep deprivation is extremely detrimental to health, productivity and sanity. For many high performers it is an autonomy grab that backfires by stealing from tomorrow’s energy.
Work from home blurred the line even more
Now that work is largely from home, and the line between work and not working has become blurred, the concept of a healthy work/life integration pattern is even more challenging. Revenge bedtime procrastination thrives in that blur.
Budgeting time is leadership work
Budgeting time is more important than budgeting your money. We can always make more money, but once the time is spent we can never regain it.
Simple practices to try this week
- Set a hard stop for work. A simple closing ritual helps, write tomorrow’s top three, shut your laptop, lights out in the office.
- Put a small delight earlier in the evening, a walk, music or ten pages of a book, so you do not have to steal it from sleep.
- Give your phone a bedtime in another room.
- Choose a realistic target for sleep and treat it like an appointment.
- Notice the trigger, resentment, pressure or boredom, and name it. Then choose a healthier release.
- If you lead a team, make your boundaries visible. It gives others permission to do the same.
Questions for you
How will you budget your time to spend it equitably on all priorities and sleep enough?
When you want a thinking partner
If you want support to reset your rhythm and protect your energy, consider executive coaching or team coaching. Reach out if you want help to build a work/life integration pattern that does not rely on revenge bedtime procrastination.
