Why Micro Behaviors That Erode Trust at Work Matter
I recently read an article in The Atlantic about how repeated small disagreements can destroy a relationship. The author described it as bleeding out from thousands of paper cuts. The image stayed with me. Papercuts and pinpricks are relevant to all relationships, family, friends, and colleagues. In the workplace, these are micro behaviors that erode trust at work.
“The reason my marriage fell apart seems absurd when I describe it: My wife left me because sometimes I leave dishes by the sink. It makes her seem ridiculous and makes me seem like a victim of unfair expectations. But it wasn’t the dishes, not really, it was what they represented. Hundreds, maybe thousands, of times, my wife tried to communicate that something was wrong. That something hurt. We didn’t go down in a fiery explosion. We bled out from 10,000 paper cuts. Quietly. Slowly.”
These papercuts are like micro-aggressions, yet different. They are often careless, unconscious habits that repeatedly offend a colleague. Each one seems small. Together, they wear away trust.
Papercuts and Pinpricks at Work
We have all experienced the small, seemingly insignificant act of inconsideration that feels like a papercut. It stings for a moment, and we brush it off. When it repeats, it adds up.
Just like a papercut, a small act of inconsideration may seem harmless at first. Repeated, it can lead to a slow bleed and damage the relationship.
Common Examples of Micro Behaviors That Erode Trust at Work
- Consistently failing to return emails or calls in a timely manner. At first it feels minor, repeated it signals disinterest or disrespect.
- Habitual lateness to meetings, or missing deadlines. It creates frustration, and raises questions about commitment and reliability.
- Interrupting others, or talking over colleagues. Over time, it diminishes voices and weakens collaboration.
- Forgetting to credit contributions. Trust suffers when effort goes unacknowledged.
Why These Small Behaviors Erode Trust
Trust is sensitive to patterns. A single miss can be forgiven. A pattern communicates something else, that a colleague’s time, input, or needs do not matter. Teams begin to question reliability, and cooperation breaks down.
Address Issues Early
The key is to address these issues as soon as they arise. Small, clear conversations prevent big problems later.
- Have open and honest conversations about the behavior, and work together on simple changes that prevent future conflict.
- Be aware of your own actions, and notice where habits may cause unintended harm or disrespect.
A Simple Conversation Framework
- Observe: Describe the specific behavior and when it happens.
- Impact: Share the effect on you, the team, or the work.
- Ask: Invite their perspective, and listen.
- Agree: Decide on one small, concrete change, and a check-in date.
What Leaders Can Do
- Set team norms for responsiveness, meeting starts, and acknowledgment of contributions.
- Model the basics, arrive on time, close the loop on requests, and credit ideas.
- Build regular feedback moments, brief retros after meetings or milestones.
- Coach for awareness, help people notice their habits, and the signals they send.
If your team needs support building these habits, leadership coaching or team coaching can help turn daily behaviors into trust builders.
Closing Thought
Small acts of inconsideration may seem harmless, yet repeated they become papercuts that erode trust and damage relationships. Address them early, and be mindful of your own habits. This is how healthy teams are built, one small behavior at a time.
Further reading on negative work environments: Toxic Leadership
